This Isn’t the Life I Planned—But It’s Still Worth Living 

What happens when your life doesn’t go the way you thought it would? Not in the “I took a different career path” way—but in the “my body changed everything” way. In the “my days revolve around symptoms, side effects, appointments, and survival” kind of way.

That’s the version of life I found myself in. This blog post is for anyone who's grieving the life they imagined—and trying to find meaning in the life they're living now.

When You’re Mourning the Life You Expected

There’s a version of my life that exists in my mind. In that version, I go on spontaneous road trips. I cook dinner without thinking twice. I stay out late and wake up early. I move freely, easily, painlessly.

But I don’t live in that version. I live in the version where my body makes the rules. Where EDS, POTS, Gastroparesis, Endo, and more all show up uninvited. Where food doesn’t always nourish. Where pain and fatigue whisper (and sometimes scream) their limits.

Some days, I grieve that other life deeply. And I think that’s okay. Grief doesn’t only belong to death. It also belongs to lost dreams, lost ease, lost versions of ourselves. If you’ve ever felt guilty for mourning a life you didn’t get to live—this is your permission to let that grief breathe.

A New Kind of Healing: Making Room for Both

Healing isn’t about pretending you’re okay with everything.

It’s about making space for both truths:

• I didn’t ask for this.

• I’m still learning how to live inside it.

Both can exist. Some days, the grief will be heavier. Other days, the peace will surprise you. And on most days, we’re just doing our best to hold both.

A Gentle Reframe for the Hard Days